5 Bad Things That Happened to A Good Person Like Me


I saw my ex-boyfriend getting a haircut from the JDUC Tim Horton’s lineup and I was too committed to my steeped tea to leave the line

This one happened to me on Thursday. This was fucking garbage let me tell you. #1 Who in their right mind gets a goddamn haircut at the JDUC? Friggen NARCs that’s who. I just wanted to buy me and three of my friends some steeped teas, because I am a really nice person, and my stupid ex-boyfriend was blocking my view and bliss. I had to look at him, trying to look nice. I bet he was cutting it for a date. Whatever. I am doing so great, I am yung, fun, single and free. Fuck that guy and his goddamn hair.

I went on a first date and my date told me he wanted to raise a family in a city “the size of Kingston but with a crime rate of Edmonton”

This was kind of an interesting experience for me. I went on a date with a medical resident at KGH (yes, I know, husband material), and he was honestly just a very strange man. What was supposed to be the beginning of my rom-com romance, I ended up with a man who strives for higher crime rates to keep his emergency room “interesting”. He also made me tour the ILC, Goodwin, AND Goodes. I’ve been in Goodes, like, maybe 3 times in my whole degree. I wasn’t qualified for this at all.

I got negged and I wasn’t really that flattered

A man at a bar came up to me and told me “you look really good, like so good. I’m not really sure you’ve ever looked like this before. Do you always look like this?” And I said “yeah this is my face, sucks but like life is what you make it haha”. And I almost felt flattered, but then I realized that I was actually looking mostly the same that I always look, and this guy was just drunk and using his beer goggles to wheel me. Nice try, you friggen nerd. I’m onto bigger and better.

My dog ran away when I tried to pet her

I love my dog more than I like people, and I was feeling a little upset and I just wanted to pet her. AND SHE LEFT ME. SHE UP AND LEFT ME. MY HEART. It has been wrenched. I miss her. I wish she would love me. I just wanted to pet her and love her and show her my affection AND SHE LEFT ME.

I liked a guy and then he moved away to Vancouver

Easy story. I liked a guy, I said “hey I like you” to this guy, he said “haha I like you too let’s go on a date” and I said “yes!!!!!!! Ok!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” and then he moved to Vancouver and I never saw him again.