6 Third-World Countries That Are Better than Kingston in the Summer

0
2582

Malaysia

Children as young as six may be forced to work brutal hours in hot stuffy conditions for little to no pay. As a research assistant, you too may be forced to work brutal hours in hot stuffy conditions for little to no pay. But at least the six-year-old’s boss appreciates his work.

 

Somalia

Usually, violent pirates are enough to deter you from visiting Somalia. But with The Pier closed, I’ll risk anything to get drunk near a body of water.

 

Ukraine

While Ukraine may ruthlessly censor its press, it still beats The Journal from May through August.

 

North Korea

North Koreans are made to believe all kinds of lies from their supreme leader, such as Kim Jong Un doesn’t need to defecate. Likewise, you live under the delusion that Kingston is fun in the summer. But whereas no one has ACTUALLY seen Kim poop, it is obvious to even North Koreans that Kingston is a turd of a town.

 

Famine-Ridden Ireland (Circa 1845)

Victims of The Irish Potato Famine had a one in four chance of starvation. But without your housemates to cook for you, your death seems all but certain.

 

Post-Trump America

While technically a developed nation, the USA is destined for the Third World once Trump finishes with it. It’s citizens will watch in horror as their state burns, but at least can watch it together. Meanwhile you spend your summer in Kingston, utterly alone. So, so alone.

Comments