A Brief Guide on How to Integrate your Subletter in to your Household

0
4

Many of us have reached that point where out of necessity, you need to sublet a room in your house to a stranger. This has the potential to impact the delicate balance of nerves and personalities that is your household, so it’s always best to to try and include your subletter in your house’s activities as much as possible. But because of thinking of things can be hard sometimes, we at Golden Words have used our hive mind to create this probably mediocre list of tips and tricks for bringing your subletter into the fold. 
Make a chores list and make damn sure they’re on it.
Give them a snazzy nick-name. Some examples: if they’re a tough guy, something hard as fuck like Snake, or Stabby McMurderstein. If they’re boring as fuck, something along the lines of Greg or Wanda. 
Take a piss in the corner of their room to mark your territory and make sure they know whose house they’re living in. 
Make them feel at ease by making a pot of coffee and offering them a cup every few minutes
Before they head off to class, put a note in their lunch bag reminding them to smile and that you love them
Make sure they know that yours is an open, pro-sex household by having sex with their significant other. 
It may be difficult, but give them at least a small role in the end-of-the-semester House Pageant.
Share your passions and hobbies with your new housemate: realistically that just means provide them with enough booze to join you in your crippling spiral of dependency
Try and forge their support in an alliance against the most successful     person in your house, assassinate that successful person then in a Game of Thrones inspired backstabbing, murder your Subletter at their own wedding.
When all else fails, nothing brings a house together like spending a night in the drunk tank. 
 

Comments