A Christmassy Poem

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‘Twas the night before Exams, when all through campus

Not a creature was stirring, not even the studious;

The Jager was placed by the Red Bull with care,

In hopes that the bombs soon would be there;


The students were nestled all snug in Club Stauff;

While they had visions of their asshole-ish profs;

And Mommy and Daddy are on the way to take you out,

Of this god-forsaken hell hole, so you can stop the pout.


When out on University there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.

Away to the window I flew in a fit,

Tore open the shutters and exclaimed “What the shit?”


There on my lawn was a tower made of the new-fallen snow,

There it stood a gigantic, erect, snow dildo.

On my camera this moment I did record,

So that tomorrow I can be the next Overlord.

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