A Guide to Not Getting Involved In Facebook Arguments


Writing comments on Facebook about why Syrian refugees are, in fact, people and not poisoned skittles or peanuts may seem like a heroic way to spend your time. You may be the kind of person who thinks this will make you feel better, or in some way improve your life. This would be wrong. The key to living a healthy lifestyle is avoiding these internet debates at all costs, for the sake of your own mental well-being and the protection of your soul. Below are some useful tips for helping you avoid Facebook arguments.

The first thing you should always do to avoid Facebook arguments is stop caring. If you stop caring about the issues, you will not feel the need to argue. Syrians are dying? I don’t care. The wage gap still exists? I don’t care. Beyoncé should have won 2009’s VMA’s? I don’t care. Apathy ruins lives? I don’t care. The moment you let go of your cares, you will feel as if a weight has been lifted from your shoulders.

Beyond not caring, there are many other ways you can avoid Facebook arguments. As opposed to not caring about issues you can also try caring too much. If you find enough things to be angry about, you won’t have time to really be passionate about any specific issue. You won’t have time to write a full comment explaining the Israeli-Palestinian conflict to your ignorant uncle, because by the time you’re halfway through you will probably see a post about serving cake to gay people and get distracted. Trying to care about many issues at once is a sure-fire way to avoid getting involved on the internet.

One tried and tested method for avoiding Facebook comments is deleting your Facebook. If you can get rid of your profile, you will shield yourself from all those scary opinions that contradict yours. It is paramount that you do whatever is necessary to avoid internet arguments – and if that means shutting yourself off from all online social interaction entirely, then it is worthwhile.

If you aren’t interested in deleting your Facebook, instead try redirecting your energy into other pursuits. For example, try getting involved in internet arguments on other, more anonymous sources. YouTube is always a reliable choice because the dislike meter lets you know right away whether you have found a nice, controversial-as-fuck topic to argue about. Unfortunately, the recent loss of r/altright is a blow to internet commenters everywhere, but hopefully new hate-fuelled subreddits will come along for you to partake in!

There is one last tactic you can use for avoiding Facebook arguments. Get out there and actually fucking do something. Instead of trying to convince your aunt that “bombing their families” is a war crime in violation of the Geneva Conventions, sign a goddamn petition. Donate to The Red Cross. Volunteer for some boring activist shit. Enrol in DEVS 100. You get the idea, go out there and be useful to the world! What are you waiting for? Stop reading this shitty article and go change the world!