Actual Craigslist Ads

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Out of sheer curiosity, and I promise only out of curosity, I went on craigslist.com and found the following ads within 10 minutes. These ads are 100% real. If any of these propositions get you hot and bothered, craigslist.com. is for you.

I WANT TO EAT PUSSIE – m4w (Kingston) 
body : thin height : 5’8” (172cm)status : singleEATPUSSIE : Lay bk and enjoy it ladies
age: 51
IAM AN OLDER MAN AND IAM LOOKING FOR LADIES MARRIED OR SINGLE IAM GREAT AT IT AND U WILL LOVE IT AND U WILL BE BK FOR MORE WITH FRIENDS THREE FOUR THREE THREE THREE THREE SIX ONE TWO TWO I CAN HOST ANYTIME OF DAY OR NITE JUST TEXT ME IAM IN THE HEIGHTS NOTH END AND PLZ BE SHAVED FOR BEST RESULTS I WILL EAT AND PUSSIE ANY RACE AND AGE AND IAM A GOOD LOOKING MAN JUST LAY BK AND ENJOY IT THEN U WANT TO GET FUCKED AFTER UR ORGASUM U WILL GET FUCKED HARD IAM A LONG HAIRED BADBOY EVERY LADY LOVE GETTING EATTIN OUT IAM THE BEST MAN FOR THE JOB SEE U SOON

Birthday for J – m4w 
age: 21
It’s your birthday on Monday the 29th, J
I wish I was around to celebrate it.
I wish YOU were around with me to celebrate it. 
I also wish you never left me but you had to do what you had to do…
I am still not over you even though it’s been a few years…
I still never got my closure and I feel I never will. 
I do still love you J. I really do. 
I don’t know why, I can’t explain it because you hurt me pretty bad at some points. 
Regardless I still love you and always will. 
Happy Early birthday. You’ll never see this. 
I’ll post again on monday. 
I love you.

Algonquin res Monday around 2340 – m4w 
You were sitting by the front desk…long brown hair..a drink in one hand…phone in the other. We’re you waiting for food? A bf? Did your roommate have a booty call and asked you to leave for an hour? Need something …someone…to do? I’m in the red jacket. 4th floor. You can crash here anytime…
Your life is a mess – m4w (Ottawa) 
TB , your life is a mess. Your an embarrassment to your family. Look at your finger. The games and lies have started to show through. Your anger has cost you more than you know. You had a chance for better. You will be old, lonely , toothless and unwanted in a very short time. Then what? Who will you use to pay your debts? Had wished better for you. LS.

Looking for a topless haircut this weekend – m4w 
age: 35
I’m a 35 yr old guy in need of a haircut and looking for a lady that would be able to come by and give me a haircut either topless or maybe some lingerie or just a bra on. No touching, just admiring and maybe a little jerking off while you cut my hair.

flowers to give for a special lady – m4w (brockville) 
body : average height : 6’1” (185cm)status : widowed
age: 60
I have flowers to give away….the kind of flowers a lady would want to get…I live in brockville any ladies here looking for those kinda flowers?

Are you looking for your partner in crime? – m4w (Kingston) 
body : average height : 6’0” (182cm)
age: 42
Do you get bored easily with immature men who never understand you? Do you feel like opening up to a smart, mature and caring gentleman who you can depend on to make you feel appreciated and alive? Are you feeling bored and ready to enjoy life without being entangled with a loser? I am 42, tall and attractive. Successful, cultured and well traveled. I am bored and feel trapped in a complicated relationship that I cannot get out of, so I want to meet a woman to talk with and become friends with. I am looking for my partner in crime. Why don’t you write me and let’s see if we are a good match.

Golden Showers – m4w (CNY) 
m4w body : athletic height : 6’1” (185cm)status : married
Any females out there interested in giving a nice man Golden Showers? You will be treated with kindness and respect. I need a nice woman to worship.

Family Role Play.. – m4w 
age: 28
Hey
Hot, clean, experienced. 28, in great shape, nice cock.I’m here because this isn’t something you bring up on a date.
I want to try some family role playing. I’m looking for someone to play the part of a cousin or sister ideally, or possibly mom or aunt if you’re older than me. If you’re a little freaky and this sounds like fun to you, let me know. 
I host or you host, doesn’t matter

Yoga pants fetish – m4w (Kingston) 
age: 46
looking for the sexiest ass in yoga pants in town, I want to come over and look at you. Will be generous. No touching required.

I’m not sure about this, but I really miss giving oral – m4w 
m4w body : fit height : 5’10” (177cm)status : married
age: 58
I am in a bit of a different situation. I am happily married, but for medical reasons, my wife can no longer “be intimate” in the physical sense, although we still have what I would call an intimate relationship. Up until this change (about a year ago) we had a very active sex life. I do my best to hide any frustration I might feel, but I think it creeps out now and again, and she senses it and feels guilty, despite my reassurance. One can get into the morality of all this, and even I am sometimes uncomfortable with the idea, but I do know that I miss the physical aspects of an intimate relationship. 
Mostly what I miss is actually orally pleasing someone else, as my pleasure can be self-provided, if that’s not too blunt. So I am not really seeking gratification for myself. I would love to meet a woman who would just like an occasional oral “pleasuring”, if that’s a word. No reciprocation needed, just the opportunity to make a woman feel good.
To be honest, I have not discussed this with her, nor will I ever tell her. I have no desire to change my current situation, I am dedicated and committed to her (so having said that, I do somewhat expect a few negative messages of judgement or contempt). I can rationalize all I want, and I do have trouble with it to a degree, but I also know I can’t envision going the rest of my life without giving some pleasure through physical intimacy.

I don’t need any drama, I do need absolute discretion, and acceptance of the fact that I am in a relationship that I have no intent of ending. I just want the chance to do what I used to to please a woman. Again, no reciprocation ever expected. I know that’s quite the long-winded explanation, and I understand that many might be judgmental, but if you seek an occasional release with safety and discretion, no strings, and no drama, please let me know. Please, if you respond, let me know a little about yourself – your situation your age etc. Obviously I cannot host.

Thank you. 
ps – added after my first response – please make sure that your message at least indicates somehow that you have actually read my ad, and not just sending me some cut and paste response that you’ve used before

Is anyone aggressive enough to throat fuck me? – m4m (Kingston-napanee) 
body : average height : 5’7” (170cm)status : single
age: 23
Like the title says, I can’t seem to find anyone aggressive enough to throat slam me, take total control and shove your 7+ cock down my throat and don’t pull out until after you shoot your load down as deep as you can 😉 I love pre cum and uncut a huge turn on i want to be tied up so i cant pull away, have my limits pushed, I’m 23 brown hair green eyes, 146 lbs 7 inch looking to suck only, recip not required msg me with pic of cock and stats if I like what I see I’ll reply with pic descrection a given and expected

Need my virginity taken – m4w (Kingston) 
body : athletic height : 6’1” (185cm)status : single ON : ON
19 year old virgin who wants to have his first time.
Looking for someone around my age 🙂 7

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