AMS Starts Long and Expensive Campaign to Re-brand Ghetto Bugs as University District Bugs.


    Following the underwhelming success of the campaign to rebrand the Student Ghetto as the University District, the AMS has decided to spend even more time and money on marketing campaigns to remove the stigma of the ghetto being an area in Kingston where students pay high rent for generally shitty housing. The previous unspoken agreement was that students would cope with the depressing look of their houses by being slightly too recklessly under the influence at all times.
    Now that the AMS is trying to make the change to a respectable housing area by calling it something that it quite obviously is not, students are concerned that they’ll have to pretend to be sober more often. Rumours have begun of an attempted drunken march down University Ave to protest the AMS rebranding and it’s implications of higher standards. Students and landlords alike are expected to be involved in the demonstration.
    First on the agenda for their continued rebranding of everything until nobody could possibly get offended at it (as an aside, it offends me that they think I’m unintelligent enough to not know what a fucking ghetto looks like) are the harmless but strangely creepy looking silverfish/ghetto bug bros. While the AMS has literally no plans to change any physical thing, they feel like if they call it something else, the ghetto bugs will either have to leave or start referring to themselves as university district bugs.
    Soon to follow on their to-do list is to make the title Rector gender-neutral, opting to go with the latin suffix of tum as opposed to tor. For those of you who didn’t put that together, the joke is they’re changing the name from Rector to Rectum. Like butts.