As FRECs, ex-FRECs, GrandFRECs, and Supreme Leaders of EngSoc, the writers at Golden Words have considerable experience in the matters of Year mottos. In fact, as Canada’s other national newspaper, we even have our own resident motto-maker. Therefore, we decided to give a quick, pro bono, guide on what NOT to put as a motto, tempted as you may be.
Translation: “we said penis”
Good work froshies. Really. You managed to piss off the Dean more than anyone can ever remember. You pissed her off more than Frosh Week itself, more than when Principal Woolf stood her up for a date, even more than losing the title of “best handshaker in Canada!” But surely you’ve done something more worthwhile…
Translation: “we finished quickest”
Unlike your very cool upper years, you are not so big, so hard, or so tall. Plus, your water wasn’t even cold. Why the hell would you also want to be known as the quickest? Even western girls won’t sleep with you if that’s on your GPA…
Translation: “we brought the mickey”
Well done frosh, you made it back from Disney Land. Unfortunately, this is probably the last time your parents will bring you anywhere, so enjoy that shirt and those ridiculous ears for now. Next year when you’re 19, maybe you will understand where you went wrong.
Translation: “we are sticky”
Frosh, the only thing you know about stickiness is when your popsicle melts in the summer and you are so sad that you go and hug your teddy bears, but then they get sticky too.
ooo ooo ooo
Translation(?): “we think we are the shit”
No. We know that this was a favourite of yours to mosh to, way up there with the song Timber. Nevertheless, we thought that even though you were a bunch of monkeys in September that by now you would have grown up a little into self-respecting university students.
Superamus centum duodecim
Translation: “we survived 112”
Kind of cocky after last week, isn’t it? Besides frosh, maybe you shouldn’t even bother with a motto at all. You do have to pass ALL of your first year classes before you can sew bars onto your coveted GPA.