Astonishing Conspiracy Revealed: ArtSci Students Planning to Strike


Breaking news was uncovered last Sunday when Golden Words’ new undercover reporter (who will be referred to as That Dude for his/her personal safety) managed to sneak out a top secret document from the headquarters of the Queen’s Arts and Science Society (Queen’s ASS is an underground elite society independent from the AMS, which functions practically like Queen’s Engineering Society and rule over the mass ArtSci students).
According to the document, Queen’s ASS plans to mobilize the 7132 undergraduate ArtSci students to go on a strike. Such a strike aims to demand more respects, protections, and supportive facilities to be deployed for ArtSci students as a minority since Arts & Science is 1 out of the 12 faculties in Queen’s and occupies not even 1/3 of the Queen’s student population.
Some specific demands include the construction of a new building larger than the Goodes Hall called the Betters Hall that allows only Artsci students to enter; an official new term to address ArtSci students as “Red Hips” just like “Purple Geeks” for engineers but with even more respect, etc.
The document describes the attitude of the Queen’s ASS office toward the strike to be “doubtlessly faithful and bright”. Since the strike calls for all ArtSci students to skip all classes and tutorials, and instead stay in the bed or walk around topless only for a month, the Queen’s ASS anticipate at least 7000 of the mass will participate in the strike with the other 132 will choose to occupy and drool on all Stauffer’s soft couches to prove a point.
Golden Words will look closely to examine the reliability of the source and follows the latest turnout of the astonishing news.