B@ck 2 $kewl

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Hey everybody, welcome back! Y’all know what season it is. We’re back at Queen’s for one main purpose. No, not to learn. To meet other young, good looking academics who can also afford to go to Queen’s. 

 

Hope you all had a good frosh week, since that is prime tryout week. Why? Because everyone is on the prowl for some new meat after living with their parents all summer. Since everyone is excited and eager about the fact that they can make noise again and that their walk of shame will only be a maximum of ten minutes, this is the perfect time to get out there and find your soulmate. 

 

For the next few weeks, the tryout season will continue. This is the time when the hot girls of hot girl summer get to capitalize on their bikini Instagram pics that they (tried to) tease everyone with for the last four months. Don’t even worry about hot girl summer being over, because in just two weeks we will officially be in Thotumn Autumn (S/O to my housemate Caro for coming up with that term, we’re making it a thing). Better keep up your A-game and keep in mind that soon you’ll need to compile your roster and pick your starting lineup, because we’re about to start playing. We’ll play in the regular season for a while, but before you know it, it’s time for the playoffs! Some will be winners, and some will be losers, and with or without realizing, you may start narrowing the lucky people down to the semi-finals. Of course, since you’re a huge beauty, all of your semi-finalists will be playing their hardest to be the one to score a chance to play in the big championship game of the year: February 14th *dundundunnn* 

 

 Just kidding. In reality, Valentine’s Day is just another (more romantic) Christmas (an excuse to buy things that you don’t need). But hey, who doesn’t love presents?

 

And finally, in the depths and darkness of mid-winter in February, if you somehow manage to make it all the way to the championships, you will be rewarded with a human body..I mean buddy to use as your own personal radiator.

 

And as we’ve all experienced this past first week of school, it is quite easy for us all to spread sickness with so many of us being in such close proximity, and I’m sure as you’ll soon see, the love bug will spread just as easily 😉 

 

Yours truly,

 

Pickle Brick

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