Bookstore Willing to Work Out Other Forms of Payment if you Know what I Mean ;)


Buying textbooks is one of the more financially humiliating things you will do at university. There is nothing happy about dropping several hundred dollars on textbooks you’re not entirely sure you even need. Many believe that the prices for textbooks have gotten out of hand, and so the Campus Bookstore has began crafting their own solution to the problem.

After countless cries from first year students about how expensive textbooks are; the bookstore will begin adding alternative methods of payment in order to accommodate students of different financial circumstances.

Instead being prompted “cash or credit”, the friendly cashier watching you drain your life savings will now ask “cash, credit, or you know, we can work something else out” while sliding their hand towards yours.

“I was really thrown off” said James Jameson, a first year Engineering student. “But you know, textbooks are textbooks man.” Jameson recalls the event where he was propositioned with an archaic and demeaning method of payment. “She asked me if I wanted the textbook. I said yes, but then asked me if I REALLY wanted it. She said we could do something not so traditional, and winked at me.” Jameson continued, “It took me a second to pick up on what she was saying, but I ultimately realized what she was suggesting. I thought it was just one of those things you only see in those cheesy teen movies, or pornography. I didn’t think that people still pay for things like this.”

With the cost of tuition rising, and an increasing number of required textbooks, many students like James are forced to consider differing methods of payments.

Many are sharply critical of its humiliating nature, however a majority of cashiers are firm believers of the alternative payment system. “I’m just so happy that we’re letting the students pay how they want!” Said Janet, a bookstore employee. “It’s 2017, if students are comfortable embarrassing themselves for a textbook, I think they should be able to, god knows we don’t mind it.” Janet then proceeded to nudge my elbow while winking uncomfortably.

Golden Words reached out to additional students, “I can’t believe that we’ve devolved to this point” said a second year who preferred to remain anonymous. “What is this? The 40’s? I can’t believe some students have to pay with a fucking cheque. It’s so humiliating that students have to pay with paper. That’s so wasteful!” She continued “I haven’t gotten a cheque since my grandma gave me 5 dollars for my birthday.”

Jameson said, “It was so strange being asked if I wanted to pay with cheque, I didn’t even know those still existed. What the fuck is wrong with an E Transfer?”

It’s hard to say for how long the bookstore will be accepting this ancient form of payment, but until textbook prices lower, students will have to continue to prove how badly they REALLY want their textbooks.