Budget Concious Student Film Festival Settles for Blood-Stained White Carpet Premiere

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This past week Kingston played host to the 15th Annual Queen’s University Emerging Entertainers Film Festival, which was a resounding success despite facing significant budget cuts this year. This forced them to come up with innovative low budget solutions, including a gala premiere that went back to basics with a Blood Stained White Carpet. 
“These are difficult times to be a lower-tier film festival, seeing as the market is so diluted right now,” said QUEEFF co-chair Grace Moniz. “So we had to improvise. Did you know that if you get the right tide by the lake, the odd carpet will just wash right up? And sure, there’s also usually a body in there, but hey, you take what you can get.”
Nonetheless, the festival was a hit among the self-congratulatory Film community at Queen’s, as well as the Drama students that tagged along and the couple of Engineers who showed up in the wrong place for Iron Ring. Students decked out in their finest formal wear packed the suspiciously over-febreezed shag carpet to strut their best stuff for the (iPhone) cameras. As their heels squished into the still-damp blood stained carpet, the ladies made their way through the group of over-confident white guys who cast them in their artsy-but-still-poorly-plotted Film Noirs, getting a somewhat awkward hip squeeze and forced smile that would later be tagged on Instagram as “#director and #star!” 
Later, the crowd made their way to the Dunning Auditorium, where they were shown to their seats by Hobo ushers – later to receive a can of soup in payment – to enjoy a program of the finest short films the local DSLR-auteurs could churn out. The night concluded with a round of watered-down champagne and snacks with hummus that was cobbled together from the back of the organizers’ fridges. The night was even given a Hollywood flair by passing around plates of crushed-up tylenol disguised as cocaine for the gathered to indulge in, before wrapping up at 11pm so that the filmmakers could still get a good night’s’ sleep in before pulling a double shift at their respective serving gigs the next morning. 

 

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