Check Out These Four Power Couples


1) Mackenzie and Dan
She’s the world’s leading neurosurgeon, performing operations previously thought impossible with ease. She’s fluent in seven different languages, and is in the process of learning two more this year. Even more, she’s also a helicopter pilot in her free time. And she’s only 21. She’s Mackenzie Meyers, and she’s found herself a similarly impressive partner. Dan Irons has beaten the video game “Dark Souls.” Twice. As if that wasn’t enough, he’s also passed most of his classes, managing to overcome his hangover and attend his 8:30 lectures a solid 60% of the time. Isn’t it wonderful that these two people, who’ve both contributed an equal amount to society, have found each other?

2) Ava and Jonathan
For her contributions to the arts, Ava Green became the youngest person to hold an Emmy, Grammy, Oscar, and Tony at once. But what may be even more impressive is the incredible man she’s found for herself. Jonathan Masters-Bateman is himself a maker of history, holding the current record for most self-pleasure sessions within a 24-hour time period. With an astounding 47 jack-seshes in a day, Jonathan has successfully managed to beat off the competition, with the second place being a distant seven orgasms behind. We here at Golden Words congratulate Ava for chaining down such a winner.

3) Anastasia and Blaise
Anastasia is one of the leading minds in astrophysics, and the engineer behind several of the most forward thinking spacecraft designs of our time. But her partner Blaise Bluegrass gives her a run for her money with his intricately crafted artisanal bong collection, which draws crowds of high first-years from far and wide. They both put such effort into their labour, who’s to say which one has done more for the world?

4) Vishmayaa and Patrick
Her novels have won her a Pulitzer, a Man Booker, and a Nobel Prize for literature, and she’s only 21. But she’s not the only writer in the family! For the past year, her husband has been a regular contributor to the most prestigious newspaper on campus, Golden Words! Who would have thought that two experts at the writer’s craft could find each other like that?