Commerce Frosh To Place SOARB on Probation

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After what may have been the most disinterested, low-key, and altogether uninteresting Commerce Frosh Week, some commerce first year students have come together to put the Senate Orientation Activities Review Board on probation. 
“One of the bosses politely asked me not to running, she seemed as confused about it as I was. When I asked her why I ought to stop running she mumbled something about running being ableist and therefore people shouldn’t run.” Says Matt Alderson, a first year commerce student.
Alderson seemed distressed as he described his expectations and the reality of Commerce Frosh Week. 
“My older brother graduated from Commerce and led me to believe that the week would be filled with people screaming at me and having fun doing it and making me run and change my socks. I was really pumped up for the challenge. I practiced changing my socks for a week.” 
Some upper year commerce students simply could not deal with the change, booking a room in Goodes to weep softly together. They have also commissioned a tombstone for Commerce Frosh Week, to go beside the tiny epitaph for ArtSci Frosh Week (RIP). 

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