Dangerous Discoveries at Queen’s


Over the years at Queen’s University there have been several major breakthroughs that have been branded too dangerous by the general media to share beyond these hallowed halls. It is time that these discoveries get given the credit they deserve.
Netflix Do I really need to explain this one?
Red Eye If you are ordering these at 8pm on a Saturday you know it is a rough time. If you don’t know what a Red Eye is than congratulations, University has been far kinder to you lucky fuck than it has been to me.
GPA bars wiki Are you the type of idiot person who can’t say no to a challenge even if it might kill you? Well than GPA bars wiki will probably make a good attempt of what liver you have left. Have a strong desire to chain yourself to a keg until you can single handily finish it? Great, then get cracking, your badge of honour awaits.
Couches in campus buildings Now you never have to leave the comfort of campus, not even to sleep. You can just keep working and working and working or alternatively you can attempt to catch a few zzzzs between classes instead of being productive.
Princess Deliveries Do you like leaving your house? No, I didn’t think so. What if I told you there was a way to pack on the Upper Year 15 without trudging outside to get food and beer? Never leave your house again and have stuff just brought to your door. Your friends may get worried eventually or maybe will be too busy doing the same thing to notice.
Meal Equivalencies at QP If you are like me in first year, then you have discovered the QP will take meal equivalencies. The next thing you know it is February and you have none left because you spent them all on pitchers of sangria and buffalo chicken fingers. Let’s not even talk about my marks…
Beers with Profs The rule of this event is don’t try to keep up with the profs, you CANNOT keep up with the profs. Shit, you tried to keep up with your prof, now gin and tonic tastes like water and you are still going, going, gone. Good luck in that prof’s 8:30 class. You’ll be the one with the sunglasses.
Golden Words This paper will be responsible for your shitty notes in your Wednesday morning classes for all years at university. Then they convince you to write one little article for them and next thing you know your Sundays evaporated into a haze of jokes that didn’t get past the editors.