Dead Baby Jokes You Can Make at Abortion Clinics


So I know we’ve all been there – waiting in the abortion clinic, and you feel SO awkward because all the dead baby jokes you normally would be making are super inappropriate. I mean, almost every dead baby joke is made about babies that are like already alive and conscious; which is super fucking exclusive, pretentious, and downright awkward when you’re all there with dead non-alive babies. So today, as an activist and humanitarian and vegan, I want to fix this broken system by providing you with some dead non-alive baby jokes!

But before I get into all the hoot-and-hollering of the jokes, I’d like to say that if you have strong feelings about this topic, you like “don’t believe in abortions and you love telling women what to do with their bodies”, then feel free to slide in my DMs because to be honest that sounds kinky and I’m ready to start a family. Also on that point: I never know what to do with my hands; I’ve got childbearing hips, and could fuck with maternity leave.

Back to the jokes: here are some quick ones to use at any abortion clinic near you, and as a tip to the ladies – abortion is free in Ontario… so Narcity add that to your Fun and Frugal Ways to Spend the Weekend in Toronto!

How many dead non-alive babies does it take to paint my house?

I don’t know many?

So actually in the blastula (embryo) stage typically features a fluid-filled cavity, the blastocoel, surrounded by a sphere or sheet of cells, also called blastomeres. These don’t contain blood so it wouldn’t work. They like aren’t actual things yet.

What’s the difference between a pickup truck full of bowling balls and a pickup truck full of dead non-alive babies?


Not that much. Both are inanimate and have never formed a consciousness.

See the joke here is that the babies aren’t actually anything yet when you get an abortion so all this hooplah needs to stop! But you’re right, devil’s-advocate-or-religious-guy-over-there, the whole science side is really just my opinion!

On another note, shout out to Undies for coming out with a Hip-Hop night, I haven’t been yet but I totally asked for more hip hop in Kingston bars in my last editorial so like maybe this is a Timmy Turner situation (haha slick hip hop and cartoon ref Leah). Anyways I obviously can’t rule out that magic doesn’t have a role here unless I test it.
So I wish for an ass so fat you can see it from the front. Also a puppy that is a puppy forever and never dies. And like a drone that I can like sit on and control with my mind but it can go soooooo fast and underwater and now I can also breathe underwater and also there are now mermaids and when they see me on my drone they are so astonished with the technology they make me their Queen and award me 22 (definitely not virgin :p) mermen princes that serve all my emotional needs.