Dear Mr. Smith,


What about us? What about the faculty that lead you to your success? What happened to all the hours you put into projects and algorithms and calculus and differential equations and linear algebra and chemistry and vectors??? To all the Profs who taught you with great knowledge and interest? To the lifelong pals you made during your undergrad? Do you even remember going to school here? Because let me tell ya- you didn’t study commerce. Does engineering even ring a bell? Who are you? Mr. I-forget-where-I-came-from. Mr. Started-from-the-bottom-now’s-a-jerk. Mr.-I-have-the-lamest-name-ever-and-now-have-a-program-named-after-the-lamest-name-ever.
I’m personally confused as to what your thought process was in donating 50 million dollars to the Commerce faculty. Did you experience memory loss when you wrote the check? Did someone use Imperio on you? Did Stephen Harper promise to alleviate your taxes if you donated money to his son’s program? Or do you have a thing for guys in suits?
It’s obvious that the commerce faculty already has enough money to last a couple thousand years off other alumni donations. Look at their building; last time I checked we sure as hell didn’t have a Starbucks in the ILC. All we have is unfinished walls and ceilings, not to mention that Sterling and Dupuis could use a solid dose of TLC. Goodes looks like a castle, even we can admit to that. Not to mention how loaded the kids in commerce are! Do you realize how much more smug and arrogant you have made them by donating money to their faculty? Another thing to brag about- as if they needed that. But honestly, what’s 50 mil to Queen’s Commerce? Nada. Niet. Nothing. Rien du tout.
You could have made a world of difference to us, your fellow engineers, and yet you chose to donate to Commerce, which equates telling us we are a piece of shit. We work ten times as hard as any commie. And I know we’re broke as heck but hey, at least we’re fun.
 One day I’ll be rich, and just you wait, Mr. Smith, I’ll donate 100 million dollars to the Engineering Faculty. Definitely not naming it after myself though, that’s not very tasteful.  
Let me end this with a chant that you might remember:
‘We are we are we are we are we are the engineers, we can we can we can we can demolish forty beers, drink rum drink rum drink rum drink rum so come along with us!’-JUST KIDDING.  Stay in Goodes Hall with your new friends.