Dumb Queen’s University Traditions


Queen’s is a university that is built on traditions. They’re one of the many things that make us renown for our school spirit. Some of them are also really dumb. Like…
1) Buying a jacket that says that you go to the school that you are at. Like…we know. I’m sitting in a class at Queen’s. I assume you go here. It should be the opposite: if you don’t go to Queen’s but hang around the campus a lot you should get $400 “Lurker” jackets. Those would be much more useful. While we’re on the topic of jackets…
2) Beating the shit out of that jacket simply because…well there’s no real reason for this. And this hasn’t been around for that long – any pre-90s alumni that walks the track during the Homecoming slam is always so amused by why you would do this. I will admit, it looks pretty cool when everyone slams in unison and it sounds like a herd of Bison are approaching over the hill, but this is just one of the many Queen’s traditions that serve no value. 
3) Getting a Tam during frosh week – seriously, there’s nothing special about these. You can buy them at the ARC store for like $10. Have you seen anyone ever wear one? I’m no fashion policeman, but I imagine they would arrest you for trying to pull that off. 
4) Buying textbooks is something that has no reason to exist in the year 2015. We are clearcutting 80,000 acres of rainforest every day and Queen’s answer to this is “sure, here’s some more paper that could just as easily be put online.” Readings already suck, why don’t we at least not have to pay hundreds of dollars for this misery? It’s like if you were a pizza delivery person and they took away your car and made you walk instead, and then charged you $700.
5) The Oil Thigh is a really stupid dance and barely anyone knows the words. And don’t think you can just make lyrics simpler, because…
6) The Clark Hall Pub Dance is far worse. “Roll Roll/Shoulder Shoulder/ Hips Hips / Ass Ass/ Turn and Clap!” – great lyrics, guys! Inspiring. Can you tell that this whole thing was conceived by Engineers? All precision, no style. And sometimes, I just want to drink my beer and not have to join in on this half-assed macarena. 
7) Tumbleweed Tuesday is not an official Queen’s tradition, but goddamn it if every bro and broad in this city doesn’t think it is. “Country” “music”? Tuesday night? A disproportionate amount of White people, even for Queen’s? Yeah, this has gotta go.