There is often much negative material in Golden Words directed towards our estranged-sister paper, The Queen’s Journal. I feel like this is unfair and, for the most part, unwarranted. Just because they chose to publish uninteresting, incorrectly sourced, chick-bait provocative, or just plain wrong material, does that mean they should be punished for it? Who are we to judge what should be considered “good” or “appropriate journalism”?
I sure as shit am not. But I could be. If you will, that is, consider this editorial my application for the position of Editor in Chief of The Journal.
Please see the following list of my qualifications that will suit the role of Journal Editor:
- Arts Student
- Has been editor of another major campus publication as recently as now
- Lots of free time to extinguish/ participate in online flame wars
- Resume significantly lacking credibility
- Am a human being
But wait, there’s more! I also have opinions. At least a dozen of them! I’m also in touch with the issues of the world and have a keen interest in publishing content that brings important issues to the public. For instance, this week our cover features both the Super Bowl and Marijuana, two things that people talk about (sometimes together).
And I don’t want to make it seem like I’m no play and all work. I’m actually quite the opposite. Most people that meet me tend to find that I’m not very funny at all. All of the humour that spills forth from my funny bone onto my keyboard comes from a lot of hard work, so much so that it uses up all of my humour-reservoirs for the week. And because all of the greatest and most well-loved bosses in history have been stern, humourless automatons, I will be well suited for the job of Journal Editor.
Over the course of my tenure as editor, I am proud to say that this paper has become more and more scientifically accurate. For example, this issues contains phrases such as “the sonic boom has a volume over 200 decibels”, “between 22 cm and 24 cm away” and “One Cubic Lightyear of Space”. Those are more than just numbers, folks. Those numbers mean something. We’ve also made a lot of horoscopes. I’m not too proud of that shit though. So there’s always room for improvement!
So if you’re reading this, AMS person responsible for hiring at the Journal (I wanna say…Ashley?), I would like you to strongly consider the above as reasons why you should chose me as the next Editor in Chief of the Journal. Hey it can’t get any worse!