Editorial: Kingston Thanksgiving pt.1: Prelude

0
2

*Part 1 of a 2 part series*
Remember TV? It was pretty shitty, having to sit through commercials, flipping through channels to find a show that’s not about fishermen renovating storage units – it was horrible. But thanks to the internet, now you can watch what you want, when you want, and then wonder why your favourite shows are cancelled because they get no viewers on actual TV. What I’m getting at here is that, like good ol’ fashioned TV, you’re gonna have to wait for this editorial to be completed next issue, when my experiment with Kingston Thanksgiving is complete.
So let’s start this thing off with some context. I am not physically prevented from leaving Kingston this coming weekend. I live in the GTA, just like 6 million others – there’s a highway and buses and trains that can easily transport me to and from Kingston. Nor am I estranged from my family at all – they are some strange people, but not e-stranged, which I assume means they are strange in some electronic way, like online.
No, friends, it is simply my shining commitment to this newspaper that its keeping me in this place. This is the first time I will be truly alone in Kingston and, without a party scene going on, this town is bound to show its true colours. Which I can only assume will be pretty grey.
Speaking of which, let’s check out the daily weather forecast for the weekend, shall we?
Friday: 14 degrees, mostly sunny
Saturday: 12 degrees, mostly sunny
Sunday: 13 degrees, sunny
Monday: 14 degrees, rain
Well, fuck. It’s gonna be weird, with most of the days looking like they’re gonna a have a hot sun that will make me sweat when I walk, but a cool air temperature and wind that will force me to wear a sweater and pants (pants!).
Otherwise, I’m assuming the town will be completely empty of students save for people from Vancouver who can’t afford a plane ticket, and Kingston natives – which amounts to exactly two people I know. Guys, let’s hang out all the time and talk about how lonely it is! But we’ll have to wait until next issue to see how that turns out.
One good thing about being the only person in your house is that you can walk around naked all the time. Our heating hasn’t been turned on yet, so not sure how often I’ll be taking advantage of that. But you can bet I will be partaking in the sheer ecstasy that is going to the washroom with the door open. I’m excited just thinking about it. Actually, that’s kind of a weird thing to be this excited about. Fuck it: living wild and free!
So only time will tell how this weekend will go. I just really hope it doesn’t wind up in being arrested for public indecency.
To Be Continued…

Comments