Editorial: Opinions!


Once again, I am angry. Not for any justifiable reason, just simply because of my position as editor. I have been informed by my peers in journalism that editorials shouldn’t simply be treated as free space for one to ramble on about such topics as Snapchat!, Smash Bros!, and Thanksgiving (twice); but rather as an instrument to voice my informed, developed opinions to the student body.
I have none of these, however. But I’ve also been told that this doesn’t matter as long as your loud enough and use big flashy graphics. That’s the sole reason cable news exists. BURRRRNNN!!!
So today I’d like to give my opinions on the nature of opinions. Starting with the obvious:
Opinions are dangerous to the sacred institute of democracy. If too many people have too many opinions on things, then how can we possibly sort through them to make an informed choice when it comes to elections? Have you noticed the voter turnout has been taking a nose-dive these past few decades? That’s because there’s become too many parties, with too many platforms that sound the same.
Compare that to the United States. Those freedom-loving sumbitches have it figured out. They only have to major political parties and they are extreme opposites of each other. None of this “centrist” nonsense – just extremely-right wing republicans and the still-kinda-right-wing-but-at-least-they-appeal-to-women-and-minorities Democrats. And down there in the groin of North America, you HAVE to identify with either party. Therefore, they’ve gotten rid of any outside opinions and streamlined their democracy. And it works like a charm! American politics are the most recognizable on Earth for a reason. Everyone knows politicians are giant windbags who wanna hear themselves scream, and the American system takes advantage of that.
Another way to keep opinions out of Democracy is to turn it into a monarchy. Both the Liberal Party in Canada and the Democratic party (whose name is democracy!) in the US have leaders that are related to previous leaders, in Justin Trudeau and Hillary Clinton (who hasn’t declared candidacy yet, but it’s only a matter of time). We trust that they’ll be exactly like their father/husband and can just keep the same opinion we had of them. They can even just reuse the old door signs in their government office. Perfect!
Outside of this editorial about opinions, I don’t really have an opinion on anything. I tend to coast through life accepting everything I believe, even if sometimes the ideas contradict each other. If one lunatic on a street corner is telling me “the end is nigh!”, I’m gonna believe him until proven otherwise by the sun rising the next day.
Isn’t democracy great?!