ELI5: The Fall Term Break


The fall term break: loved by some, hated by engineers. It’s a divisive topic among the only faculty with a legit orientation week. With more sides than a twenty sided die (so twenty-one sides), I’d like to give little top to bottom explanation of what we’re talking about here – Like the inside cover of a Malcolm Gladwell book, I’m about to blow your mind without actually making a point.

So what is the fall term break? Nobody knows! It’s like that brown dish your aunt brings to the passover seder: is it potato kugel or is it bread pudding? Like the fall term break, it’s going on your plate whether you like it or not. Why? Because of the AMS’ 1%, sitting on their high thrones of emerald and student fees, voting to have a fall term break before deciding on insignificant details like what the fuck a fall break is.

How long would it be? When would it be? From where would you get the days off? These are questions the AMS didn’t bother thinking about as they fondled a chest full of gold coins and precious gems.

Let me give my two cents on the issue. The fall term break is like a getting a younger brother. When they’re born, you don’t really know what’s going on. Mommy and Daddy didn’t really explain anything to you because nobody is going to attempt to explain drunk, unprotected rage sex to a seven year old. So you find out that you have a sibling and for half a second you’re like “Woohoo!” but then it dawns on you: your orientation week is going to get fu- I mean you’re going to have to share things and your parents won’t love you anymore… some shit like that. All of your friends at school realize this and you’re trying to find a way to get things back to normal.

You see what I’m saying here? Yeah sure, if you’re an ArtSci or Commie and you don’t really care about orientation week, the fall term break is a great opportunity to catch up on work and be productive (or smoke weed and watch netlfix for three days straight, it’s really 50:50). But if you’re an engineer or… well if you’re an engineer, the fall term break is pretty much being told to eat your vegetables – you’re in the faculty with arguably the most work and yet you won’t open your mouth no matter how fast that choo-choo train is coming ‘cause then there’s no room for that sweet-ass cheesecake.

So yeah, the fall term break is pretty lame, but don’t you worry. The AMS put out an online voting system at: www.nowaythisactuallyworks.com/wedon’taskforyourstudentnumbersokeepvoting and let your opinion be heard!