Euro-Wizard

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As a generally all round ordinary inhabitant of the Queens community I’m sure by this point you are aware of the great drinking feat known as “The Wizard Staff”. Unless of course you live under a rock or are the Dean of Engineering who has been in denial of all drinking since taking the position. But now, it is time to change the course of drinking history, it is time to embrace a new bar that is not only the most classy-ass drinking bar achievable but even the Dean may find a special place in her heart for it. 
We, from The Community of Lightweight Female Engineers bring you…”The Euro-Wizard”. The Euro-Wizard, like the Wizard, requires competitors to drink their height in liquor, however instead of crappy PBR beer it is of the ‘finest’ Ontarian boxed wine.  Wait you might say, that’s insane! Last time I checked wine has a far higher alcohol content than beer. Why yes my fine friend you have read the COR signs and you are quite correct.  But wait this is where the game takes on a whole new level of eloquence. Instead of stacking gutted cans, each Euro-Wizard competition will make a staff of elegant plastic wine glasses. That’s right, it maths out real good. Each wine glasses’ extended height and reduced quantity of drink balances out perfectly its higher OH content. 
But that is only part of the beauty of the Euro-Wizard.  At the end, instead of a sticky totem of structurally vulnerable cans, one will have a highly sophisticated scepter of symmetric concave and convex curves, kindalike the venerable queen… Beyonce.  
Come my fellow wine enthusiasts. Let us conquer the drinking world! 
And now a formal request to the Dean. Upcoming is your official wine and cheese night.  A formal evening with highly respectable engineers. On behalf of The Community of Lightweight Female Engineers, we request the inaugural Euro-Wizard competition at this evening. Leading by example, Dean, will you take up the most noble of drinking scepters, officially establishing the Euro-Wizard Bar, and leading us female engineers to boozing victory?   
 

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