Hey guys, (quirky sound effect) it’s me, (quirky transition) on today’s episode of my CITHDIYMUTYC (Cory in the House DIY Make-Up Tutorial YouTube Channel), we are going to talk about eyeliner (quirky intro song).
But first let’s clear something up, if you are wondering why I keep making huge YouTube diss-burns, it’s because I am so fricken mad at them. Where has YouTube been throughout the fall of Vine? Absent. How many Vines compilations have I watched on YouTube? Countless. What has Youtube ever given back? Nothing. This is a cold and unfair world and I hope YouTube will one day feel what every Viner feels: an infinite 6 second loop of misery and despair.
Eyeliner, every girls best friend-or is it? Recently I have been doing a lot of research into this stuff and I have decided that we need to take a closer look into the racial implications of eyeliner. As a white female I believe I have a right to speak on this matter since I am part of the population who has a lot of opinions on racism, and I wear eyeliner.
I first became critical of eyeliner when I noticed its colour; if you haven’t seen or used eyeliner I’ll let you know now it is actually black. Once I had made this discovery, I looked further into the whole operation. After countless years of experimentation (top liner v.s bottom liner, glitter?) I found you do in fact put this “black” paint on your “face”.
If this doesn’t feel like the last scene of The DaVinci Code yet then take Your Broke Ass Home.
Also, eyeliner pretty much summarizes my entire middle school experience-as I think it does for many other ladies and boys out here-and middle school is straight wak. If there is ever a time some idiot kid is going to pull of a “blackface” stunt it for sure would have happened in middle school. I hate middle schoolers so much. I can totally also see myself bumping some fricken evanescence with a quart of eyeliner on and just really portraying some racially charged imagery.
Here’s the thing, there is no concrete definition on what constitutes as blackface, and if your guess is as good as mine then I think I will just conclude this already and say, yes, eyeliner is blackface. Also since I don’t know who the ”your” is in that saying, the “your” could just as easily be Obama’s “your” so that means my guess is as good as Obama’s. Thats pretty cool if you think about it. So let’s all just take a vow, and stop wearing eyeliner.
If you know me you’re probably thinking “Leah, maybe this whole thing is just about you being bad at eyeliner, and Leah, maybe you making it political is a bit unnecessary and Leah, maybe you’re stretching out a joke that really should have been just a tweet and Leah, these little bits are really taking away from the subtlety of the jokes” and if you are thinking that then I’ll have you know it’s stupid to think all of those things they are all wrong I am the greatest I am never going to die.
And another thing, I want to take some time to talk about dogs. I love dogs, and I used to think cats were cool, but i just can’t possibly think that anymore. Just the other day I was in a hypothetical situation and I had to rush into battle 2 times. The first time I had a doggo companion, and second time I had a kitty. Take a big ol guess who rode with me and fought for my life. It was the pupper, obviously. So in conclusion, eyeliner is racist and doggys rock! Next week I will be discussing why any “poodle” mix is the stupidest, they don’t cuddle, they just boing and bounce.