Five Most Useless Purchases You Make in University


You’re now two months into another year, and despite your best intentions, you’ve already spent way more money than you thought you would have. Not just tuition and rent, but there are costs that you didn’t anticipate and now your bank account is lower than your standards for what to wear to an 8:30. We’ve compiled a list of the 5 things you’ve probably already wasted your money on:
1) Textbooks for Electives
We understand, in the first week of school you promised yourself you were going to try harder this year and actually do those course readings. But it’s week 8 and you haven’t even opened those books once. Do you have any idea how much vodka you could have drank if you didn’t buy “Politics, Classism, and Racism in America?”
2) Wow-Sized Poutine from Smokes
Drunk you just doesn’t seem to understand how much poutine is too much poutine. But after striking out at Stages, you want something hot and greasy to take home anyways, and this will have to do. How many of those did you actually finish, and how many were thrown out by your housemates after two days of sitting in your kitchen? 
3) A Pulp Fiction Poster
Look at you! Your favorite movie is Pulp Fiction? You must be really into counter culture. I bet everyone who sees that thinks you have such good taste and are so unique! Gold star!
4) A guitar
Your housemates hate it, you’re getting laid even less than before, and you only learned the first four chords to Wonderwall. Buying a guitar in university instantly makes you that guy. Of course you think it’s a great idea, but seriously, it is not. Don’t be that douche.
5) Condoms
When you first bought this 64-count box of condoms, you were in first year, so it can be excused. You had unrealistic expectations. We’ve all thrown out condoms that expired three years after the purchase. Right? We’ve all done that, not just me? Right?