Floorcest: The Pros and Cons



  • Convenience: They live like right there, think of how easy it will be to go whenever you’re in the mood.
  • The Unisex bathroom: Need I say more.
  • Showers: The showers are cleaned for you, might as well use them.
  • Need to Procrastinate: Go have sex with the person five doors down.
  • Give old lefty the night off!: He’s ( I mean she of course….) has earned a night off.
  • Free don condoms …. & Candy: Why not put ‘em both to use.
  • Practice Your Failings: Why not get all the fuck ups out the way. Practice with the safety of your floormate, they won’t tell any of your friends about how bad you are. You know high school didn’t prepare you for shit. This is university, welcome to the big leagues!
  • Free Couples Counselling!: I mean you share a don and they are a pretty much a psychologist right?
  • No Walks Of Shame: To be fair there is still a walk of shame, but it takes 20 seconds and you can do it before anyone else is awake so no shame is had. But remember it won’t be like everyone knows what’s going on. Those beds squeak, some girls do too, and those res walls can be paper thin.
  • Every Night: Fuck ya am I Right? Both of you will always be cumming back to rez. There always around and I mean when you live that close to campus those hour long breaks in between classes are filled really easily.
  • Can’t Get Caught: No one will catch you! I mean you could have just been doing homework together or like hanging out. You’re floor mates will never think you’re having sex!
  • If It Doesn’t Work Out, Fear Not: Chances are there are others on your floor you can fuck / finger / blow / gobble / scissor / tie up / disappoint / drool on / experiment with / work through daddy issues / shit on (purposely or accidentally).
  • Take What you Can Get: I mean like seriously…. but seriously.
  • If Your Bed Is All Moist, Fresh Bed For Round Two: I mean depending of the time and proximity of the room a towel may be all you need for your fresh escape.


  • Awkward Times In The Unisex Bathroom After A Failed Encounter: That is all.
  • Its Harder If You’re In Adelaide : Is it, is it realy?
  • All Your Floormates Totally Know What Is Going On: Like its pretty obvious, and you will probably have some awkward conversations with people who will ask you things like: where have you been this past two weeks, why so many showers, could you please be quieter, stop screaming so loud, and lovely weather were having.
  • You Might Forever Be Known As The Floor Bed Squeaker: But from experience this often turns into hilarious stories later.
  • They Might Be Crazy: I mean I have seen some serious shit, some of the ones out there are like a bear trap, they sink their claws in and never let go. And we have all heard hilarious stories about the crazy ones but its just like pubic lice, its funny to joke about but a nightmare in reality.

…. well shit looks like the pro list is way longer. Fuck it Frosh, be a legend, do it.