Fluid: An Incredible True Underdog Story


Okay, movie pitch: black screen, mid to late eighties rock song plays–not sure which yet this is a work in progress, let me live–credits start to appear. It’s the chorus of the song now, black screen cuts to a close up of an obviously-not-university-student throwing up in front of Fluid, the year is 2013. The camera pans out, he’s not alone. Moving in from the right of the screen is a pack of obviously-underage-frosh-maybe-even-high-schoolers being let into the front door. On screen–“FLUID: AN UNDERDOG STORY”.
The rest of the movie follows a plot similar to every sports movie you’ve ever seen ever, but now instead of a sports team it’s a small town ontario nightclub. The club has always been the worst in the league of kingston drunk hot-spots. Its reputation is built on its low standards: cheap alcohol that still doesn’t make it worth it, a vagina shaped logo, and the fact that it is literally named “fluid” the second grossest word next to “moist”.
 Fluid gets to such a low point that on one dark Friday night, six grade 11’s come to visit their friend living in Vic Hall and they all get into Fluid on 4 fake IDs. There are two people standing at the bar, they probably don’t even go to Queen’s. There are three more people on the dance floor, they haven’t bought one drink and one of them will wake up in the hospital. The final shot is of two people in one of the bathroom stalls–the name Fluid has never been more appropriate.
The movie is midway through, it’s 2014, a new year and it’s the turning point. A new DJ comes in, and night after night of playing sick beats and hype tracks, people–real people–start to actually enjoy their time at Fluid. There’s like a montage of Fluid getting more cool (but it’s like a DJ music video). All the cuts are made on cool drops of cool EDM music. Some guy gets bottle service, and some girl is dancing in slow motion.
 The last scene builds to a dramatic peak, it’s a Thursday night, Fluid charges $10 for cover, the line is longer than Stages and a fake that “totally looks like you man” gets turned down. Screen fades to black, an acoustic feel-good comes on. Text on screen alongside present-day photos of Fluid. “Today Fluid is still running, and gets business on Thursdays, Fridays, and even Saturdays” Credits roll. The End.