Joshua J. Peterson, an incoming Queen’s Engineering frosh was worried about whether or not he would be thought of as hip and popular by his peers. We recently spoke with him in his Vic Hall residence after his first few nights at the school.
Like many of his future classmates he crafted an intriguing and thought provoking Facebook bio. The bio was complete with his hobbies, taste in music, volunteer trip to South America, and a couple of little jokes so that everyone would know that he was clever and fun. When Joshua arrived to Queens the hard work he had put into this bio all payed off. “It was insane! I walked onto my floor and was immediately everyone’s best friends. Guys were buying me drinks and girls were giving me numbers. I have already slept with four of them and I have only been here three nights!!” – He tells with a huge grin on his face.
We asked Josh why he thinks that he is such a hit with all the other frosh and he said that he is sure that it’s his Facebook bio. Apparently everyone who wrote one of these bios is now a minor celebrity and that they are being given special privileges such as, cafeteria line skip, a licence to use mechanical pencils in lecture, and extended hours service at the Lazy Scholar. “I know it doesn’t seem fair at first, but when you think about it, it just is. Everyone already knows and loves me so of course I get special treatment.”
If you are reading this and think you also might want some of the perks earned by having posted a bio to your year’s Facebook page don’t worry. Your principal Daniel Woolf has confirmed that Facebook bio’s will still generate the same sort of fame and adoration we have been seeing up until the first midterm. We here at Golden Words believe in cool people and suggest you get your bio up as soon as possible.