Frosh’s Guide to Surviving Winter in Kingston

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Maybe you are an international student who isn’t heading home for the holidays. Maybe your family just forgot to pick you up. Maybe they didn’t forget. Either way frosh you are now stuck in Kingston it is winter and you have no meal plan. This guide will help you survive the dark days that are coming:
Don’t Panic: First step is to not panic. You will get through this. You have a background in survival techniques and years of outdoor experience right? No, ok this may be a bit more difficult but you should be able to find a way through.
Water: I know you haven’t had a glass of water since you have been a Queen’s but without being able to go to the caf you will now need to drink this wonder fluid. There a several ways that you can go and get your water. You can go into the common room in the residence and turn on the tap…. Not that one turn on the cold water one…. Then stick your face under and water and try to drink the water. I recommend doing this a couple times a day. For more advanced maneuvers you can try to use a device known as a bottle so you can take the water back to your room. When out travelling outside of your residence room you can find a large source of water in the form of Lake Ontario. If there is ice on the lake take a rock and break a hole through the ice. Then stick you face in the water and drink it up. Alternatively most restaurants will give you free water if you ask.
Food: Food will probably not be necessary for a while as you have been getting ready for hibernation. If you keep drinking water and eating some of the random things you have around your room you should be ok and on the bright side you will likely reduce some of the freshman 15 you manage to put on. However is surviving on your own body fat is not your idea of a good time then I suggest this step by step instructions:
1.Go to the grocery store. I know this is scary as you may need to leave campus but if you use your phone and dress in lots of layers you probably will not get lost and freeze to death. If you are on West you need to take extra caution trying to get past the wolves
2.Buy the largest pack of Mr. Noodle bowls possible should cost like 
3.Return to residence and eat the Mr. Noodle by adding hot water from the kettle. If this is too difficult just eat the dry noodles.
Is Mr. Noodle not good enough for you frosh then I suggest you attempt to make squirky which is squirrel jerky. This done by first killing a squirrel or waiting a car to do this for you. Then take and fillet the squirrel and smoke it in the common room to create this University staple.
Cooking not your style? Well you can always try to get things delivered. A more advanced technique is to go and pick up something called take out. 
Shelter: Residence can be a cold unforgiving wasteland and your room will only provide you so much protection and comfort. I suggest taking all your blankets and pillows (hell steal some from your roommate’s side of the room) and create a protected nest under your bed. This will keep you safe from the elements and feeling protected from the scary outside world. If you are feeling exceptionally nervous you can put blankets over the side sealing the entrance and hiding you from any individuals that may come looking for you.
Activities: Since it is not healthy to spend all your break in your room crying under your bed and torrenting every series you have “been meaning to catch up on” you are eventually going to have to find something else to go do. You can go to the library and do all the reading for next term so when your friends are around you can do stuff with them.You could use your buss pass and go see a movie or do other stuff around Kingston (I have yet to find anything around Kingston to do). Alternatively you can go to the gym everyday for hours so you can extract your revenge on all your enemies.
Escape: You have finally realized that you can not continue to simply survive in Kingston and realized that you need to escape this frozen hellhole. Time to pack up the supplies you have and attempt to make the long journey to salvation. I would suggest trying to get to Florida so you can finally be warm and see what they call “the sun” again. Get a compass and start walking south, then just keep walking south… ohh shit you just fell through the ice in the middle of lake Ontario. Well good luck with that.
 

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