God to Write ISIS Out of the Script in 2016th Season of Earth


Most viewers believed that ISIS was would be nothing more than a minor figure in the soap opera known as ‘Earth’ when introduced in 2013. Since then, God has developed the character from being a irritating extra to a major villain wreaking havoc and chaos throughout the Middle East and Europe.
YHWH commented, ‘well I’ve exhausted pretty much every plot point I could with this character. Beheadings, cultural genocide, terrorism, refugee crisis, a bizarre feud with El-Chapo, where else can I possibly take this story?’
ISIS’s performance thus far has taken viewers for a wild emotional ride. Greg Balls, Globe and Mail movie critic, gave Golden Words his opinion of God’s script for the last few years of life on Earth. ‘I really thought God was going in a different direction when he introduced the whole Arab Spring thing. It was a complete red herring. We totally should have seen ISIS coming.’
Other critics have been less fond of God’s writing style. Stewart Crawseng, part time film student said, ‘Personally, I thought that the supreme leader of the universe got a bit lazy with the writing here. A whole bunch of viewers thought that ISIS was pretty much a rehash of Al-Qaida, and the Taliban. I could have done a better job!”
The all knowing sky God was not phased by viewers who do not appreciate his ability to construct a convincing narrative. ‘Haters can piss off. I have a special ‘post death’ ending planned for anyone who doesn’t believe in me or my art.’ He was also quick to note that his fans far outnumber his critics. ‘The 4 billion monotheistic humans in the world cannot all be wrong!’ He added, ‘I have just been inundated with letters from fans asking for hints on how I will bring ISIS to an end. I don’t want to give too much away, but it is certainly no coincidence that Donald Trump is doing so well in the Republican primaries…’
Earth is the longest running soap opera. 2015 seasons with approximately 365 episodes each have been aired, in addition to 4000 seasons of prequel material released as a part of the Bible/Torah Box set.
Despite his demanding work schedule, God has shown no indication that he is ready to throw in the towel and end the series. ‘Don’t worry, there is a hell of a lot of story to be written before I send in the horsemen of the apocalypse! I am almost a month and a half into the 2017 script right now, and I can certainly say that you guys are going to be blown away when you get to see the character that I have lined up to replace ISIS!’
‘That being said: as reported in the press, I am not ruling out a possible sale of the franchise to Disney.’