Golden Words Guide to Organization For People Who Start Caring About School After Week 3


It’s week 4. If this statement really hits home, this piece may be for you. Everyone around you has been finding things to do to keep themselves busy but you’ve just spent 3 weeks rewatching the entire Danny DeVito filmography since The Big Kahuna. Can you justify it? No. Would you do it again? Without a doubt. But now that you’ve dug this hole, I’m here to get you out. Organization is like a period, better late than never. With that in mind, let’s get organized.

Convince yourself nothing meaningful is taught in the first 3 weeks

It’s all just review, right? Definitely. I know for a fact that most of what I learnt in the first 3 weeks I’ll never use again. Most classes don’t build on previous lectures either, that’s why every new lecture feels like a different foreign language. Most courses don’t test on material taught in the first 3 weeks either. In fact, I’m not sure why they don’t just make the first 3 weeks optional.

Put your schedule into an online calendar then never check it

This one is crucial, almost as crucial as figuring out who the hell actually understands what a real vector space is. Be sure to devote at least 2 hours to this before forgetting to make the events repeat every week, you won’t use this after week 4 anyways. These puppies are a full time job to maintain as well, be sure to edit events that you didn’t do yesterday to remind yourself that you aren’t going forward in life.

Memorize when your first class is each morning is so you can feel guilty when you miss it

There’s no feeling quite like missing an 11:30 start that you didn’t know you had. Be sure you know know when your 11:30 starts are coming so you can still miss them and struggle with the your conscience for an hour until you miss your 12:30. By week 12 you may have memorized your mornings well enough to make it to your 8:30 lecture, where you’ll join the host of other lost souls passed out in their seats. Sleep well.

Post-it notes

They’re old fashioned, they look pretty damn stupid, they arguably don’t work and definitely don’t deserve a place in the 21st century. But your aunt who swears by them bought you a pack of 1500 jumbo-sized multicolour post-it notes, so you might as well draw a dick them and post them to your passed out friend’s forehead to save them the misery of trying to wash out permanent marker.

Have smart, productive and organized friends and leech their intelligence until you have the discipline to go to class and do at least half of the homework you’re assigned until finals, then repeat this process for 4 years.

This one worked wonders for me, the key is to find someone who pities you enough to carry you through a full semester of school. This isn’t a one way street though, try to give them something in return: Try desperately to make them laugh, buy them food or an unjustifiable amount of craft beer to let them know you think they have good taste. Try to set them up with one of their equally superhuman friends even if both of them don’t want it. Try anything to convince yourself you’re contributing something meaningful to the relationship (you aren’t).