Golden Words History Corner: The Sex Life of Sir John A. MacDonald


We at Golden Words are dedicated to providing the Queen’s community with an intimate knowledge of the past. And boy do we mean Intimate. Intimate with a capital SEX.
2015 will honour the 200th birthday of Sir John A. MacDonald, Canada’s first Prime Minister. So we imagined what it would be like to have sex with a 200 year old man. We know it’s possible – in the bible, people lived to be like 800 years old (seriously) and if you’re one of those weirdos who thinks that’s the truth and not bullshit, then you that know Sir John – if he was still alive – would be boning everything in sight.
I mean, if you were a young woman (or man) in Kingston and you were approached by THE John A. MacDonald in a bar. Fuck ya, you’d tap that. You’d take him back to your ghetto house on Johnson (which is probably as old as he is), take off that musky three piece suit, and go to town. And then do it again, and again.
What’s that? You have no desire to sleep with Sir John? You think I have a weird crush on a long-dead man? You know what: fine! Yes, I have a crush on this master parliamentarian, brilliant lawyer, and the FATHER OF THIS COUNTRY. I’m perfectly fine with having him all to myself.