English Premier league football club, Tottenham Hotspur, has accidentally acquired Grant Hall from Queen’s University. The club had loaned one of its players, Grant Hall, to a second tier team, Blackpool F.C., and was attempting to recall the player. Somehow poor communication resulted in the team believing that Grant Hall, the footballer, was in Kingston, Ontario at Queen’s University. Through a series of bizarre loopholes in Premier League rules, Tottenham Hotspur was able to recall Grant Hall, the building, to join its team. The building will play on the football team instead of the football player of the same name.
Tottenham Hotspur intends to use Grant Hall as a goalkeeper. At 213’4”, Grant hall towers above all other keepers in the Premier league. Grant Hall has been called “sexier than Ronaldo” by various fans attracted to the hard phallic facade of the limestone building. In its first practice with the team, Grant Hall allowed zero goals, and many people are betting that it will have a shutout in its first appearance on Sunday, April 5 vs. Burnley. The team has stated that they are happy with its performance so far and have also indicated that Grant Hall may be used by its teammates as living accommodations when playing road games.