February is generally a shitty time of year, especially for people who hate families, people who hate hockey, and single people (who pretty much hate life). Fortunately, we have come up with a simple guaranteed-to-work formula for those of you who want to feel a bit less single this weekend.
Join a club or team with people who have similar interests to yours Download Tinder Start talking to someone you get along with well Swipe right until you find a match Find out what kind of activities they like to do Find them on Facebook and like all their pictures going back to grade 8 Get their number Get their real number Take them out on a long romantic date, then to a live show at the Isabel, followed by a long walk along lake Ontario, a kiss under the full moon, snuggles by the fire and a warm hot chocolate Snapchat a dickpic
Sleep with them
Fall in love with each other over a dozen roses after a homemade, candlelit dinner Catch feels Talk happily about them to all of your friends Complain to YikYak Marry them by the seaside on a Sunday afternoon Come to terms with the fact that they will never love you Live happily ever after Repeat from step 1
So with that, good luck to all the single people. (We apologize to all the people who still have to go back to their families this weekend, we are working on it for next year.)