How To: Dress For Easter Long Weekend

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Now that the most important holiday of March is over, it is time to move on to the somber, less fun weekend of Easter. Getting ready for Easter Sunday can be stressful, but when Jesus rises up you want to be dressed and ready to whoop the Devil in the hearts of men. Here are some fun options that will really make you stand out this Easter weekend.

1) Pastel dresses. Nothing says Easter like Pastel! These muted colours are perfect for representing the quiet transition from winter to spring. A cheery show stopper for sure.
2) Jean shorts. Both Bachelor finalists (JoJo and Lauren B. for you casual watchers) debuted on the season finale in jean shorts. Was it a requirement of the show, or an upcoming spring trend? Who knows, but you know you want to be on the forefront of this fashion trend.
3) Rave bra. This uni-sex trend is the new go-to at festivals across the world. It allows wearers to show off their godly bods in bright and bedazzled top wear. Why not make it more festive by decorating the bra to look like the true symbol of Easter: the ever beautiful Easter Egg!
Traditional Ukrainian Dress. Easter is only truly celebrated by the Ukraine, the rest of the world just kind of half-asses it. So show your true Ukrainian spirit by grabbing the closest garbs to you, making a fuck ton of borsht, and eating perogies until you physically vomit. щасливого Великодня!! 
5) For the men out there- just gumboots. Again- pastel is a hot spring colour. Get those gumboot only outfits out there, let your freak flag fly a little. 
6) Body Paint. Body paint is super hot right now, my FaceBook newsfeed is really full of timelapses of super hot girls getting airbrushed into weird animals. Why not take it to the extreme? Jesus didn’t die for you to bitch out now man, paint that body pastel. Or better yet, hire a Ukrainian grandmother to paint you like a beautiful Ukrainian Easter Egg. The Ukrainian grandma’s love shit like that. Give them a call, they’ll probably make you borsht.

    I hope I have sufficiently prepared your mind and body for the delightful festivities that are coming up. I gotta go call my grandma to hit her up for some high qual, high carb Easter treats.

 

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