Have you ever been with a mixed group of friends, and there’s this weird break in the conversation where a male individual will suddenly only address the other males within the circle. It’s a common phenomenon, and typically I’ll just ignore it and move on, but a few weeks ago I took the time to listen in on what those boys were talking about. I came to the discovery that the reason the group had been suddenly pressured into segregation was because the instigating male had brought up a post he had seen on Reddit.
Sounds strange to me at first too, but it proved to be truthful time and time again. Boys don’t think that girls know what Reddit is. The truth is many girls don’t know or care about Reddit, and within those that do, not many engage in it. Personally I have always known about it, but never been bothered to join-having more than enough time wasting hobbies and vices.
But as I considered this conversational phenomenon I uncovered a power source I could so easily tap into. By simply joining the online community I would not only have the ability to break the segregation, I would have a visible leg up on these other bitches.
“To me, what feminism means is that women are equal to men, and I want to be better than those women.”
So I made the move and joined. I knew I didn’t have much time in my busy schedule to devote to another soul sucking internet medium-so I had to make some cuts. A couple of obvious choices were calling my parents, doing eng econ quizzes, and curating a 100K+ followed Pinterest account. Although my Pinterest followers didn’t take it well, I hope some will join me on my new platform.
The moment I knew Reddit was a boys club was when on the list of the pre-subscribed subbreddits there was no “makeup tutorial” category, I mean I barely know how to use eyeliner and I spend upwards of 6 hours weekly watching Instagram makeup tutorials. But this was only confirming my hypothesis, and I knew I had come to the right place.
My strategy was simple; I would keep up to date on all the front-page content for the regular guy, the conversational subreddits for the sneaky users, and few obscure subbreddits to establish my own dominance as a real participant. Knowing a post means a few things. You don’t have to thoroughly read anything, you just need to know the title, one talking point addressing a less blatant point, and the top comment. You hit these three things and you have a complete knowledge of this post- everything else you can just agree with. This strategy proved to be so efficient that since I implemented the technique I have not been oblivious to one Reddit conversation since.
The implementation process was fantastic. Every time a boy found out I was on Reddit I got the same ego boost I get with the surprise of an old man finding out I am in engineering. I don’t believe any of these people are sexist, the surprise simply comes from a recognition of patterns, but it does exactly what my feminist agenda is set out on-making girls equal to boys, but because I’m more like the boys-I am better than the girls-therefore better than the boys (because they are equal to the girls), thus I am better than everyone.