I’m a Jerk in Public, so What’s the Big Deal if I Jerk it?


Ok guys, I’ve got a bone to pick, and it’s about picking bones. I mean seriously, what’s all the fuss about having a little jerk while you’re out and about? Let’s break this down.

Masturbation is a totally natural behaviour, period. We all have those urges, and sometimes when it gets too hard to handle, you gotta handle what’s hard.

So why is masturbation such a touchy subject? Why is “rubbin it out” a bad thing? People get uncomfortable when you talk about masturbation because society has taught us for so long to “keep it in our pants” and to “act like a gentlemen”.

Obviously we can’t all have out winkies hanging out for the world to see-even if our winky is SUPER big, I’m talking ipod nano big -so what I’m urging for is a soloution. Public washrooms don’t provide the right atmosphere, and public fountains are just not the right temperature. I urge for a change-for citties to implement a set of Public Masterbation Facilities.

We’re raised with the belief that going to a hockey game and playing a little five on one is disgusting. I spent most of my own teenage years thinking that if I went to a concert, I shouldn’t join in with an improvised one-stick drum solo.

I’ve lived in the darkness for so long, it was hard to see the light. I don’t urge for PMF’s, I demand them. In the hustle and bustle of city life we need to take more steps in reducing the stress.

Pee Wee Herman, Kony 2012 Guy, me in grade 11. All victims of a world where public masturbation is severely shamed. This is not okay, and it’s something we have to fight for as one. I have a dream that one day, we can live in a world where we can all enjoy a public space, whether you’re walking your dog or walking the dog. If we don’t make ourselves heard, millions of men around the world will have to go another day, masturbating in dark bedrooms, closed off from the world. No more bystanding, it’s time to take action.

Don’t let someone rub out your right to rub one out.

Go to www.righttojerk.com/support/giveusyourmoney/jesuswantsyoutopubliclymasturbate to support this cause. Whether your donation is in dollars or sperm, we appreciate your contribution.