I’m not Sexist- I don’t See Sex


These days people are constantly talking about sexism and how it is affecting women and men everywhere. This is obviously a prevalent issue in our society that trickles down through all layers of society. Now, a century since women’s suffrage movement swept accross the Western world, women continue to face systematic disadvantages. However, I have been able to avoid this issue my entire life, simply because I do not see sex. Instead:                                    

  1. I just just see androgynous silhouettes everywhere
  2. I pay everyone 77%of what they’re worth. I have a low opinion of people.
  3. Everyone should make me dinner and clean my clothes. I’m hungry and covered in filth, goddammit!
  4. Everyone has a smaller brain and is bad at math compared to me. If everyone shared my intellect – no doubt due to my rejection of the sex-binary – we would have no wars and be a mass loving mess of  David-Bowie-esque (RIP) ambiguity.  
  5. Sex is a social construct. I like to think that everyone has two Y chromosomes and some just prefer to show it. 
  6. No one should wear a dress. They look uncomfortable as fuck. Plus, you have to avoid walking over steamy vents, lest you want your image plastered over dorm rooms across the nation (gross). Everyone should wear loose jeans and hoodies. 
  7. Also, everyone should wear heels – everyone should appear taller and accentuate their breasts and buttocks. Just because sexism is gone doesn’t mean employers will hire you if you’re not attractive. What is this, some sort of fantasy land?
  8. We don’t need women’s rights, or men’s rights – or even rights at all. Everyone else is wrong, and I’m the only one whose rights. Just listen to me and you’ll be cool. 
  9. Penises and Vagina’s are also social constructs. Have you ever seen one up close? I sure as shit haven’t! they’re very clearly just dildos and fleshlights that people have just built identities around. Every human being has been blessed with nothing but a Barbie-like smooth bumps and a well-concealed urethra. It’s wonderful.