Ladies and Gentlemen a new era has dawned in the glorious history of Golden Words, just as the great and terrible reign of Sam Codrington and Sydney Wilson as editors has set. In a new period of which shall be known throughout history as “generally boring and comedically unambitious”, two new editors have arisen. Outsiders to GW would assume (by the quality of the candidates) this promotion was conducted by random selection, but was in fact conducted via a rigorous interview process. It is a testament to the willful idiocy of the Engineering Society, my favourite faculty government, that we have been replaced by Alex Green and Leah Petersen.
It’s going to be with a sense of pride and discontent that I look back on my time as caretaker of Queen’s most prestigious, least worthy-of-an-extra-quarter-as-decided-by-popular-vote, institution. #StayBitter. Jokes were made, people were disgusted, lives were irrevocably changed. Mostly the former, but surprisingly a bit of the latter: a guy walked up to me once and revealed to me that he found God after reading an issue of Golden Words, but I think he was just high. There were a lot of highlights along the way and I have a lot of people to thank. Not any of the writers, graphics staff, or any of the other vagabonds who sit around eating pizza and getting nothing done. I have to thank the Rahim’s guy and the pizza guy. They are the coal that makes the GW train choo choo. That and our coke guy, Raoul. What a beauty. For all of you who don’t know him, Raoul was genuinely the nicest guy to have a chat with when you just wanted to hang out, talk and run in circles fast enough to make your skin stop itching #shoutout.
In all seriousness though, it’s been a delight serving as your chief purveyor of dick jokes, crude imagery, and high-qual photoshop to fulfill your wildest two dimensional fantasies. It was a genuine pleasure to come to “work” every day in no small part thanks to the cheer, humour and talent of Joe, Noah, Ghazal, Alex, Leah, Cody, Noam, Lucas, Emily, Spencer, Shiek, Noam, Griff, Elisa, Sam D, Brandon as well as the rest of the executive team, Chris, Veronica and Sydney. You guys are a blast and I hope your “employment” at Golden Words is not an impediment to you getting jobs that pay in more than pizza. Finally to you readers, I hope you have and continue to enjoy Golden Words! Now for the last time, I invite you to stop lingering awkwardly with us old folks like an antisocial 13 year old and have a great wednesday and never ever stop reading Golden Words!