Is it time to care yet?


Recently, I was asked this question by a friend of mine. Coincidentally this conversation took place while we were both in the midst of drinking quantities of alcohol that any doctor out there would call “bad”. Nonetheless, despite the boozy haze enveloping our brains, this is actually a very good question. Now that it’s Week 4, is it, in fact, time to give a shit about school.


If you’re in engineering, the answer is obviously “are you fucking kidding me? I have midterms soon!” There are, however, exceptions to this rule. These guys and gals are the ones that you have to watch out for – the fuckers with 40 hours of class and attend 25-30% of them. You can find them drunk (or worse, day drunk) around the ghetto, their whiteboards forever a sparkling pearl, calculators as cool as a winter’s day. For these people, who are probably named “Chad”, “Bryce”, the answer to our inquiry is a very solid “Naw man, gotta tumble/throwback/stage rage tonight. Worry ‘bout that shit in Week 12. College!!!”


Now, obviously these are a small percentile of Engineering as a whole, and more so these “Brads” (see what I did there?) exist all across the student population. You’ve probably been to their house parties before, which seem to go by the policy of “sure frosh, just walk the fuck in and ruin everything”. And with the exception of those in Science and Nursing, the majority of Queen’s students aren’t dealing with an engineering-level schedule. Now a Math major would tell you that, therefore their greater free time and lighter class load would result in a lower probability of being concerned with school in Week 4, demonstrated by _________ equation. A philosophy student, on the other hand, would be like “how does math even work, man? Like someone discovered this shit – you just put a bunch of numbers together and you can BUILD ANYTHING dude! Isn’t that whack?” And a PheKin student would say that “just because you have free time does not mean you can’t fill it with making healthy choices and leading an active lifestyle. That’s what Grade 9 gym is all about. Now run ten laps while trying to put your condoms on a banana!”


As you can see, when you ask non-Eng students a question to something, you get a long winded, nonsensical answer. It seems only engineers are capable of giving the answer to something in a clear – albeit blant and statistical – way.


What that Commerce? Shut the fuck up, no one likes you guys. I really couldn’t give less of a shit whether it’s time for you to care or not. Do you even care? Like about things other than money. Ya ya ya, capitalism is great, sure. Just… go back to Starbucks or something. Ugghhhhhh….


It seems that it is impossible to arrive at a clear consensus on this issue. Personally, I say that it’s not Week 1, so you should at least take a look at Moodle, set a 10am alarm to at least make those late classes and…holy shit. I was just thinking about what that philosophy student said about math. That’s fucking messed up. Like, guys, like Archimedes and Newton must have been freakin’ wizards or something. Maybe THAT’s why people call Queen’s Hogwarts – because of all the math wizards here. So maybe ask them for the answer.