Italian Football (Soccer) Player Found Dead After Ref Assumed He Was Faking An Injury

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“This is why we say don’t cry wolf.”

Last weekend, a player on the Italian Football team was discovered dead, two days after he tripped and started internally bleeding from a pre-existing condition. The ref, Adam Adamson-Addams said of Giuseppe Almonte (1988-2014), “He was the best diver I knew. The fucker even had blood pellets that they use in the WWF to try to draw penalties. It got to the point where I couldn’t acknowledge him. He was doing it for the attention.” The funeral is the coming Thursday.

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