Jengal Fever = The Patriarchy?


The game of Jenga is a lynchpin of our society. This goes without saying. Why it goes without saying, strikes this writer as a needlessly complicated and inconsistent way to underpin a society. As a matter of fact if this writer had to have an opinion, he’d have to say Jenga’s foundation in our society seems like one of the editors smoked a whole bunch of crack and managed to get the whole team on board on the basis of some puns and pizza. But I’m getting besides the point. Jenga is a lynchpin of our society, as ubiquitous as the air we breath but is full of masculine references that would make Carl Jenga blush. I submit that the reason we have placed such a fixation on this game is because of millenia of institutionalized sexism.
Examine this game. It centers around the tower of wood (to present a double phallic metaphor. It is absolutely necessary that the pillars be removed carefully, so that it remains proud and erect for as long as possible. However,any game of Jenga that last longer than four hours would prompt someone to call a doctor because one of the players is obviously on drugs. There’s really only so much Jenga that can be had. 
Maybe the metaphor isn’t perfect as there are no Jenga blocks that are bigger than others, but we must keep in mind that the goal always has been to get as many gentle touches on the wood as possible. As the support for the tower is withdrawn piece by piece, each player wishes for the climax of the game where it to cease becoming but does not wish to be the last straw. Who will boldly rescue everyone from the vicious game of the patriarchy? Who will be the hated hero? 
Probably that dickhole Greg. 
“Isn’t that the point?! Why do we waste our miserable existences on avoiding the inevitable collapse? Embrace it and be enlightened!” -Greg
This is why everyone hates philosophy majors who take themselves seriously, Greg, you rancid asswipe. I’ll carve that quote on your block-shaped tombstone