Lazy Addicts, Unite!


Three weeks have passed away and finally I’ve returned to this warm little town that’s called Queen’s, I mean Kingston, I mean, what’s the difference? During the priceless holiday, there was only one thing that I missed, one thing that I could not bear living without; it was not video game, not the arm companionship of human and not even money – it was Lazy’s food! Specifically Four Piece with curly fires and plum sauce with onion rings, some bacon, two chicken snackers, yogurt, and a large cup of pop on the side. That craving was slowly driving me crazy, so crazy that I came back two days early before school hoping that Lazy would be open a bit early. To ease my thirst I’ve tried so many methods, some of them brutal and extreme. I forced myself to eat onion rings from Popeyes, which was fucking disgusting! I made myself go workout, just so that I’d be hungry enough to eat other food. And I quitted drinking! ‘Cause the world felt like hell when I was drunk but there was no Lazy run.

When Lazy finally opened today, and I ran to devour the delicious crispy onion rings and curly fries, I almost burst into tears. I looked around at the others, their faces told me honestly that they were experiencing similar beautiful agony. As we all greedily stuffed these junk foods down our throats, I realized in a hollow fear what was wrong with me. I had become an addict. Amongst thousands of addictive drugs in the world, I had fallen for the worst. I had become, a Lazy Addict! From the day I fell for this evil power, all other joys in the world had been erased. I could no longer feel high when drunk or baked; I could feel no warmth when loved or kissed; hell I couldn’t even feel any excitement when I cum. I had become an empty shell, and all purposes of my existence had turned into one: eating Lazy! It is the worst addiction because a Lazy Addict can only be satisfied at Lazy. Unlike weed or Coke that you can take anywhere in the world from a dirty toilet to a party house, my addiction imprisons me at Queen’s. I’ve given up my soul to Lazy. There is no escape.

However, I am not setting myself as an example of warning to convince you not to eat Lazy anymore. This is a confession but also a calling for all other Lazy Addicts out there. Sooner or later people will realize the power of Lazy and make it illegal so that druglords can make a fortune out of it. Let us unite and secure Lazy to supply us with infinite satisfaction for the rest of our lives! Lazy Addicts, stand up, and show the world that we are not alone!