Letter from a Second Year Don

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This past week, a letter has been sliding under some doors in residence. I thought I’d share this wonderful knowledge for all years to enjoy and benefit from. Cheers! 
Hello Millennials / Teens, 
Here at Queen’s University it’s our goal, nay, our duty, to promote a healthy living environment. And what’s included in that environment my sweet frosh? Sex. Knockin’ boots. Putting his snake in her chamber of secrets. When choosing to engage in these activities, it is essential to be safe and protected. Don’t be silly, wrap your willy, right guys?! Don’t be afraid to come talk with me or any of your trustworthy dons for a visit to the candy condom bowl. But you know what’s even sexier than condoms? Abstinence. Instead of gettin’ some stanky on the hang down, we should be exercising our biggest sexual organ; the brain. Try composing some fun haikus or slam poems to express your feelings. Also, a quickly paced limerick can do wonders to soothe your desires. If anyone has further questions on this matter, please feel free to ask me after our 6 hour floor meeting this Sunday. We will be discussing roommate contracts, quiet hours, alcohol policy, global warming, the failing economy, 12 reasons why to vote for Prime Minister Harper, and the homeless man that has been living in a corner on the 3rd floor. 
Don’t forget writing utensils and a great attitude! 
– Your friendly neighbourhood second year don     
After such a serious conversation, I thought you may enjoy a joke.
Knock Knock
Who’s There?
Don on call…give me all your alcohol.

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