Location 21: a Critical Review


    As an addition to the first year dining experience, Location 21 has finally opened its doors-and as valiant fighters of the informative world, we took it upon ourselves to bring to you a thorough criticism of the establishment. In the following article we will review the food quality, presentation, pricing, and overall atmosphere.
 But to start, can we talk about the name? Yeah, so what the fuck. Location 21? Do you sell beard trimmers and Polaroid cameras? This name is way too hip for a school built around old traditions and legacy. You can’t be old and hip at the same time.
.  The name “The Lazy Scholar” is more than appropriate, it’s relatable. Am I lazy? Yes. Am I a scholar? Fuck yes I am, and I’ve got a four-piece argument to prove it. Location 21 sounds like China’s discount brand of Area 51. 21 is probably the worst way to describe a location. Where is Location 20? When they make Location 22 how often will they play “22” by Taylor swift? Location 21 sounds like a clothing store located in LA that sells ripped jeans for 2000 dollars. Location 21 sounds like a bunker Ronald Reagan made in the cold war to hide bombs. The name Location 21 was thought up by the same type of guy who opens a craft brewery during his mid-life crisis. But all that aside, we just want to know why? Did they run out of rich alumni to name stuff after? Why do you want to sound cool? Nobody fucking cares. It’s inside a residence building for god sakes; they could have named it Mr. Poopy Butthole and would get the same amount of late night drunk customers.
Anyways, back to what matters, the food. Yeah we didn’t try it. We haven’t even been there. Fuck Location 21.