Make Your Own Story: The Interview


You’ve landed the interview for your dream job at [insert name of company here]. To celebrate, the night before the interview you decide to go out for dinner at a fancy restaurant.  You order a juicy sirloin steak and a glass of red wine – classy as fuck!  The waiter brings you the plate, but what’s that on the side?  It’s a portion of baked beans!  You take a bite and discover that they are the best beans you’ve ever tasted.  “OMG, DEZE BEENS R SO GUD,” you exclaim, disrupting all the guests at the fancy restaurant.  You gobble the rest of them down.  Feeling accomplished and full, you return home to rest before your interview the next day.
You wake up the next morning feeling great and confident for the interview.  You make yourself a nice breakfast and suit up for the interview.  You’re just about to leave when you feel something funny in your lower intestines. You brush it off, thinking it’s just the butterflies in your stomach, so you set out.  You drive, walk, or whatever to the location of your interview and are greeted by a good looking [insert what gender, species, or object you are sexually attracted to here]. They [or it (you sick bastard)] bring you into the interview room and introduce you to the panel of interviewers.
This is when it hits you: you are suddenly filled with the urge to fart. “Those damn good beans…” you think to yourself, mouth-watering slightly. The grand pumba of the interview panel invites you to sit down. You know that the action of sitting down will inadvertently squeeze your intestines and make you soil the air in your pants. What do you do? [Send your suggestions to Golden Words to help shape the story]. Stay tuned for Part Two.