Man Bravely Admits He Doesn’t Care About Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie’s Divorce


Ghandi. Ali. Mandela. These people saw the evil in society, and spoke out against it no matter the consequences. Now, a new hero enters the pantheon. Meet Larry Wilson, a man unafraid to let you know how little he cares about the divorce of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. If that makes you uncomfortable, then you’re just gonna have to get used to it, because there’s a new day in America.

When challenged for these beliefs by mindless sheeple, Wilson responded with a statement that will go down in history: “I don’t know. I just feel like, you know, there’s probably more important stuff to talk about?”


Sadly, the issue wasn’t resolved right then and there. Many continue to engage in such regressive behaviour as skimming articles about the divorce, or briefly acknowledging it during casual conversation. And as Larry Wilson soon learned, when people are called out on these misguided actions, they often lash out… violently.

Within hours of expressing his apathy towards the divorce of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, an assassin, Donald Henry Campbell, had opened fire into his home. This turn of events was disturbing not only because somebody used violence to silence political activists, but also because our government once again allowed a man with three names – a demographic with a long history of shooting public figures – to have access to a firearm.

Larry Wilson has yet to comment, but we here at Golden Words imagine that even this won’t be enough to get such a bold figure to stop talking about how little he cares about a recent celebrity divorce.