Many Parents Issuing Recall on Children, Citing “Generally Awful Performance” and “Immense Shame”


After seeing the grades, facebook posts, and fashion choices of their children, several parents have issued recalls, and in some instances, apologies. 
“This cannot go on any longer, this has clearly not just been a bad year; this is a bad person. We hope to bring Terry home, where he will live out the rest of his days in a pleasant environment. Then we will put him down,” says one parent who wished to remain anonymous to retain any dignity Terry left her with. 
Recalls are expected to occur over the next month. The general decision process for a recall looks at the cost of recalls as compared to the expected cost of eventual lawsuits and resource expenditure. 
“Some investments just go bad despite your best efforts to manage them. This is to be expected, and now additional funds gained from giving up on this sinking ship will be diverted to my children who went to McGill and U of T.”