I wake up in my bed. My loving wife, Mildreth is to my right. My beautiful Lipizzaner stallion, my equestrian lover of four legs, used to lie to my left. Mildreth and I have been married for ten years, but for many of those years our love waned. Then, three years ago, we acquired a lovely horse by the name of Snowflame. Snowflame gave new purpose to my marriage with Mildreth, and for a while we were polyamorous lovers with a beautiful horse – and we felt blessed. As I lie, with Mildreth to my right and Snowflame’s honorary spot to my left, I contemplate our sexually charged eternal three-way’s lack of marriage rights.
Gay marriage is a thing, but a polygamous man-to-woman-to-horse marriage is somehow not a thing yet. This bothers me for so many reasons. For starters, as we all know, it was Adam and Eve and their horse lover Hyperion, not Adam and Steve and their Horse lover… Homoperion. But even if you aren’t an honest, God-loving man like myself, you should still be angry about my lack of man-to-woman-to-horse marriage rights.
I have been through many marriages in my life, and yet none have lasted as long as my marriage to Mildreth. Mildreth is the first woman who has understood my need for two simultaneous sex objects to enjoy, and my need for one of those to be a steamy, muscley horse. Judge me you may, but if you had a luscious Lipizzaner staring seductively at you, you definitely couldn’t resist either.
We did it all, too. Sometimes Mildreth and I would ride each other while riding on Snowflame. Other times Snowflame and I would ride each other while riding on Mildreth. Sometimes I felt as if our very consciousnesses were all one like the weird Avatar hair sex. Nobody understands me better than my wife Mildreth, nor understood me better than my majestic male minx Snowflame. And they never understood me better than when I made sweet love to both of them simultaneously, melding our minds through love and eroticism. My love for Snowflame is eternal, but society would not let us be. Our love was shamed by all, so Mildreth and I decided to have one final act of sexually charged love-making before saying goodbye to our shared equestrian love.
Snowflame truly meant a lot to me, before we had to kill him in our godfather role play sextravaganza. I was wearing a Marlon Brando mask, and Mildreth woke up with a beautiful, bloody horse head in her bed. Not to beat off a dead horse but Snowflame will be with me eternally, and I will I beat him off for that eternity.
Not to fuck a gift horse in the mouth, but Mildreth just isn’t the same without Snowflame around. With that in mind, if anyone knows any gorgeous horses, you can find me on free and for sale. I’m buying.