New Bars that Frosh Might Actually Try

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It’s that time of year again: a couple hundred eng frosh and some really aggressive art sci won’t shut up about all those fun engineering bars. You can’t help but hear all the little bebies blabbering about their attempt at century or some shit. Well what do ya know, there have been a few changes this year to the official list of bars and we’ve got them hot off the press, ready to make 2017-18 the most fucked up year yet! Here’s the full, unedited, slightly doctored list:

Winter is cumming – build your own igloo and then sleep with someone in it, then pretend you have something early the next morning and have to leave but you’ll totally text them later sometime.

Golden Goodes and Words – pee on the Smith school of business while violently reading golden words.

Breaking the hip – hook up with your great grand frec.

Burning down the house – burn down your own house.

41 beers – just like 40 beers except one for good luck.

Home for arrest – perform Home for a Rest while on house arrest.

Hanes Hammer legacy – break into Hanes house after he retires and just take stuff, doesn’t have to be the hockey stick just have to rob him. Take his toothbrush and shit, super fucked up stuff like that.

Slam it not at home – go to your neighbors house and slam your jacket on their porch until they come outside.

Tap apprentice – throw a kegger in your res room, but forget to buy a keg – just buy a tap and then offer to open beers with it.

Smashed bros game of thrones edition – have sex with your brother.

Fully clothed knights – dress as a knight for all your classes all week and attend all lectures (you must at least kill one person with a sword).

Millennium Club – drink 1000 shots of beer over 1000 minutes, all up the butt.

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